It's a Mom Thing

April 22, 2010

We have hired someone to fill the vacant caregiver position. Unfortunately, we will have to wait over three weeks before she can start. The fiscal intermediary requires a background check, fingerprinting, and drug testing. It’s a very good idea. Nothing is foolproof, but it does give you a layer of comfort about the person you are entrusting with your child’s care. New Jersey has contracted with a company to perform the fingerprinting and background check duties. They have an office in a neighboring town. But, they are only open two days a week. So the new hire had to wait two weeks to get an appointment. It then takes another week before the results are ready. The next closest fingerprinting office is located over an hour away. So that means we will have to probably wait until the second week in May before this new caregiver can start.

Of course, this all affects Lauren’s level of care even though we do the best that we can. I feel a bit guilty that I’m skipping some of Lauren’s exercise routines and just don’t have enough energy to provide the interaction and care that Lauren is used to in the evening. After putting in a full day at my usual activities, I’m slowing down about the time that Lauren is getting her second wind. Add onto that the fact that the second shift is the most physically demanding one, and I know that I’m going to be really thankful when we’re finally able to get our new caregiver started.

On the other hand, we’re spending more time just hanging out than we usually do. So, that means that I will get to feel guilty about something else when the new caregiver does take over. Lauren will probably miss the added time spent with Mom. I know that we need to have the level of caregiving assistance that we do to support Lauren’s extensive needs and my waning ability to provide her care 24/7.  But, I will probably always feel guilty that I just can’t provide all the care that she needs myself. I guess that’s just a Mom thing.

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