September 28, 2010
Lauren has been trying to tell me something over the last few weeks. I wasn’t listening. I was hearing, “I’m grouchy” “I don’t know what I want.” I’m not feeling well.” Instead of “I’m not being taken care of the way I deserve to be”, “I’m lonely”, Why is she being mean to me?” Because I couldn’t face yet another caregiver search I was trying to make allowances, trying to put up with deficiencies of the hire we did last spring. I just needed to get through the next few months, even a few weeks, I had things to do....then I’d take some action.
Last week I realized that Lauren’s current unhappiness had nothing to do with her, and everything to do with the caregiver. It had become obvious that this person simply didn’t care and could not be trusted with Lauren. I did not wait one more day. I took the action needed. I went in to Lauren after I put her to bed last Thursday, leaned over her and said, ‘I’m sorry, honey, you won’t see her again.” She looked up at me and smiled. From that moment, her whole demeanor has changed. Lauren has been happy, calm, delightful. I’m sorry that it took me so long to hear her, that I made excuses about her “behavior” instead of respecting her stridently voiced request for relief from poor care.