September 10, 2010
Figuring out Lauren’s future as an adult has taken many twists and turns over many years. The only consistency, and ever present cloud, was the ongoing fear of the unknown. We just couldn’t wrap our minds around what her future would look like. We knew what we didn’t want for her – a life where choices were made without her input, a life of few choices, a life drastically different than the safe and secure one she has lived thus far. We just could not figure out what, exactly, that looked like.
Not to get all poetic on you, but as I mentioned in my last post, one day it was just there, right in front of us, like a vague, ephemeral mist suddenly coalescing into a clear picture. It was so clear, so right, that putting together the major details literally took two weeks. The major details were: where – Hillside Estates at Franklin – our mobile home park in a home that I have been able to design specifically for her, how – in a life-sharing arrangement – her caregiver of three years and her husband have agreed to live with Lauren and share her home, when – in about nine months (the winter weather is going to delay us a bit).
Putting this all together required us to figure out two main things: housing and care. In my next two posts I’ll go over the details of both, the questions that had to be answered, and how or why we made some of the decisions that we did. The thing that has surprised me the most in this process is this feeling of doing “the right thing”. After so many years of absolutely nothing feeling “right”, of thinking that probably nothing ever would, of trying to face the reality of settling, some day, for a future for Lauren that was not all we wanted for her, we now have something that fits into our dreams for her. Is it going to be problem-free, perfect? Of course, not – none of our lives are. But for the first time since we realized our precious baby girl was going to have a very difficult life in front of her, when I cry – they are tears of joy, gratefulness, and relief. I really think this is going to work.