Doesn’t it feel like the recent prevalence of natural disasters hitting various parts of our world has caused a shift, a disruption in the course of many people’s lives all over the planet? Lately there seems to be so many people beset by maladies, family problems, and economic woes, much more than the normal ebb and flow of life usually hands out. Here at our house, things have not improved since my last few posts. Just when the family all seemed to be in agreement that my mother needed the care of a nursing home, my father has decided that he won’t go along with that. “No, I can’t do it.” They want to go back to Florida where they will be alone, with no help, no support of any kind. Where a few short weeks ago, if we had not intervened, we strongly believe that my mother would have died from improper care. We can’t allow that. So, in the interim, or should I say, today, they’ve agreed to renting an apartment or house here, near my brother and I, and hiring a caregiver. Of course, now I have to find an apartment, find a caregiver, furnish the apartment, and oversee medical and daily living needs, as well as supervise the caregiver.
This all has to be done while I’m in the midst of getting Lauren’s new home finished (Mother Nature has delayed the start of the home thus far and they are predicting more snow tomorrow.), shopping for furniture, getting things painted and decorated, and organizing the move in process. Lauren has become increasingly irritable lately which I am attributing to the turmoil in our home. Turmoil caused by the number of strangers coming and going - new noises and voices - associated with my mother’s care. And, there has been disruption to Lauren’s normal schedule due to staff needing to deal with the turmoil and strife in their own lives. She is not weathering this all well. There is so much change in her life recently and coming up in the months ahead. I am concerned with how she will deal with it. Lauren has a limited ability to understand what is happening, and I don’t know how to simplify the madness that seems to have descended upon us. Heck, I really don’t understand what is happening or how to deal with it either. How can I expect her to understand?
I can identify with her complaining, her need to voice her confusion and displeasure with what is happening in her life. I may appear to contain my own frustration except for the few tears that leak out every once in awhile. But I have become all too well acquainted with the little person in my head stamping her feet in tantrum at my inability to control my own life, to be able to choose the course I will follow. ....And then I think of those poor people in Japan. I’m sure they had plans too. They’ve lost so much, so very much. I still have my home, my loved ones, the acquisitions and treasures that color and inhabit my world. Instead of looking across the hills in search of the promise of spring, I could be looking in fear for radiation-infused clouds. Perspective is a valuable thing.